Gerson and I are learning how to parent. It's interesting, really. As I look at our son, my heart is so filled with love, I'm unable to describe it. For those of you who know me, you know my fear of spiders. Yesterday I took Jayden down by the pond for a few minutes to watch Gerson fish. As we were sitting on the bench, I moved to kiss Jayden's head. However, when I glanced down, instead of seeing just his beautiful hair, I saw a yellow spider crawling on his scalp! My typical reaction would have been to scream and prance around. Did I do that? NO WAY! I didn't even think before I found myself sweeping that spider off my son's head. Then I began to think. I was willing to face one of my worst fears to protect my son. There is no price too great to keep him safe. Wow. And to imagine that is only a sliver of the love God feels toward us. He sacrificed His only Son to keep us safe from eternal death. I am only beginning to grasp how great, how wide, how deep is the love of God for His children. Wow.
The other day I was sitting in the backseat of the car with Jayden while Gerson was driving. We had left home right at Jayden's feeding time, so that was why I was in the backseat with him. As I put on his bib on him, prepared his milk, and gave him the bottle, I realized that he was looking up at me in complete adoration. I also realized that my son had no worries. He wasn't worried about going hungry. He wasn't worried about where his daddy was taking him. He didn't need to know our destination. It was enough that we were with him, for he knew that if we were with him, all his needs would be met.
The other day I was sitting in the backseat of the car with Jayden while Gerson was driving. We had left home right at Jayden's feeding time, so that was why I was in the backseat with him. As I put on his bib on him, prepared his milk, and gave him the bottle, I realized that he was looking up at me in complete adoration. I also realized that my son had no worries. He wasn't worried about going hungry. He wasn't worried about where his daddy was taking him. He didn't need to know our destination. It was enough that we were with him, for he knew that if we were with him, all his needs would be met.Again, what a powerful realization. My son's response to me is what my response should be toward my perfect Heavenly Father. I shouldn't worry about our needs; God's got it covered. I shouldn't worry about where He is taking us in this journey called Life. It's enough to know that He has not left us alone, but has sent the Comforter. While He is with us, we have nothing to fear nor do we need to worry. He cares for me even better than I am capable of caring for my son. Wow. He truly is our amazing, perfect Father. May I always fix my eyes on Him in complete and total adoration.
Something else Gerson and I are realizing is how roles have reversed in our lives. In Bolivia, I was the outsider, the missionary, the "gringa." Although I spoke Spanish, I was far from my culture, my family. Now Gerson finds himself in that place. His is now the missionary in a foreign land. He misses family, food, friends from Bolivia. There are times he aches with what ever missionary has at one time felt --- homesickness.
So, when we learned that fellow Bolivian missionary Emily had brought us a package from Bolivia from his family, but would be unable to deliver it to us for several weeks, Gerson desired to travel to the south side of Indy to pick it up. Quite honestly, my initial reaction was, "Let's just wait. What's a few more weeks?" But, God brought to my mind the lonely days I had often spent in Bolivia and how packages would arrive from my parents at just the right times, right when I needed them the most. It was my turn to understand my husband's need for a connection to "home." We made that long trip to the south side of Indy.
Something else Gerson and I are realizing is how roles have reversed in our lives. In Bolivia, I was the outsider, the missionary, the "gringa." Although I spoke Spanish, I was far from my culture, my family. Now Gerson finds himself in that place. His is now the missionary in a foreign land. He misses family, food, friends from Bolivia. There are times he aches with what ever missionary has at one time felt --- homesickness.
So, when we learned that fellow Bolivian missionary Emily had brought us a package from Bolivia from his family, but would be unable to deliver it to us for several weeks, Gerson desired to travel to the south side of Indy to pick it up. Quite honestly, my initial reaction was, "Let's just wait. What's a few more weeks?" But, God brought to my mind the lonely days I had often spent in Bolivia and how packages would arrive from my parents at just the right times, right when I needed them the most. It was my turn to understand my husband's need for a connection to "home." We made that long trip to the south side of Indy.
The joy on Gerson's face was worth that trip! As he opened up the gifts from his family, he face shone with child-like joy. One of the things they sent us is what Gerson is using to hold Jayden on his back in this picture. In the highlands of Bolivia, this how women often carry their babies as they work and travel around the city where they live. How exciting to know that as Jayden's parents, we have an amazing heritage to pass on to him --- not only the Bolivian and American cultures, but also the Kingdom Culture.May our Heavenly Daddy grant us wisdom and grace as we learn to be more like Him.
